Zac spent a lot of time in the mountains. Mostly alone. He liked to ski in the winter and hike in the summer, but his favourite pastime was going out to Canmore for coffee. A couple of times a week he would drive out to the small town and spend an hour in his favourite coffee shop. He had gotten into this routine four years earlier, soon after he had retired. Although it was a forty minute drive each way, the trip always left him with a feeling of exhilaration. The place he went to was just off Main Street. It was called simply The Coffee Shop. It was an old beat up place in desperate need of a paint job and some new furniture. A long, glass counter with a cake display case ran the length of one wall. Across from the counter, by the windows that looked out onto the street, there were four or five old wooden tables with stools clustered around them. There was a small alcove off to one side that was jammed with old wicker tables and chairs. Even though the shop was usually only half full, there was always a bunch of people in the alcove. It was an obvious gathering spot for the locals who congregated there to do everything but drink coffee. The Coffee Shop was not the kind of place for people who expected the floor to be regularly swept or the tables wiped down for each new customer, but Zac found the atmosphere friendly and the coffee great. His routine was simple. He entered the shop, grabbed one of the newspapers off the rack, went up to the counter to exchange his money for a mug with the server, poured his own coffee, then went and sat at one of the vacant tables by the windows. He would stay about an hour reading the newspaper, particularly the sports page, and drinking two or three cups of coffee before heading back to Calgary. He rarely spoke to anyone in the shop, although he did recognize a few folks who would exchange friendly nods with him.
Zac had driven out to Canmore every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon until one day he decided, for no particular reason, to start going in the mornings. This change in his routine was innocent enough, but he quickly discovered that life in the Coffee Shop was a lot more interesting in the morning than it had been in the afternoon. The first morning he went, he couldn't help noticing a woman sitting at one of the tables. Now, Zac was not the kind of guy who fixated on every attractive woman who came into his sights, but this woman instantly captured his undivided attention. He found her absolutely stunning. She was sitting at a table by herself with a cup of coffee, writing in some kind of a notebook. Zac sat at a table nearby and ended up staring at her every moment he could without having her notice him. However, she left the shop, without noticing him, shortly after he had sat down at his table. Zac noted her quick departure with fleeting regret as he quickly became absorbed in the sports page. He gave her no further thought, until the next time he was in The Coffee Shop and found her sitting at the same table. Once again, he played his subtle staring game. The longer he observed her, the stronger his urge to speak to her. However, chatting up strange women had never been one of Zac’s talents so it was no easy task for him to muster up the nerve to approach her. Indeed, he didn't say anything to her over the next couple of weeks even though she was in the Coffee Shop every morning he was there. Mind you, her presence certainly made his drive to and from Canmore more exciting as he spent most of the journey thinking about this mystery woman and how he might go about getting to meet her. Zac played his hide and seek staring game for over a month before deciding that his next trip to The Coffee Shop would be the one when he talked to her.
"Will she be there?” was the only thought on Zac’s mind as he entered The Coffee Shop ready to approach the woman. Walking briskly toward the newspaper rack, he took a quick glance over at the tables by the windows. The woman was sitting at one of them writing in her booklet.
“Must be a writer," he thought.
Zac grabbed a newspaper, paid for his coffee, poured it and headed for a table. This time he sat down at the table next to the woman. He snuck a glance at her, but she didn’t look up from whatever she was writing. He opened the newspaper, but just stared at the page as he tried to think up a brilliant opening line. He drew a blank. He looked around to see who else was in the shop. There were only six or seven people in the alcove and a couple at a table in the opposite corner. There was no one at the tables by the windows other than Zac and the woman. The empty tables meant he would be able to speak to her without anyone hearing him. He still hesitated. It surprised Zac to find himself feeling so anxious.
“I can’t believe I feel this uptight,” he thought. “It's like being a kid all over again. Why the hell don't I just say something to her, like hello? “Not so easy," he mused. “What if she ignores me or tells me to leave her alone? Or, even worse, complains to the server behind the counter.”
The thought that he might create any kind of a scene made Zac quite uncomfortable. Indeed, it started him thinking that this may not be the time to follow through with his plan. "This isn't a singles nightclub," he rationalized, "I can't just start talking to a total stranger. Besides, what the hell would I say?” Unable to come up with anything he considered the least bit creative or even remotely appropriate, Zac returned to the sports page. A few moments later, the woman closed her booklet and got up from the table. Zac felt panic, “Okay, I have to speak up now or I will lose my chance." Then he thought, "What chance? This is all in my mind, not hers. She's not thinking, okay I’ll give him this one chance. She doesn’t even know I exist.” While Zac was lecturing himself the woman left the shop. He was more relieved than upset.
Zac headed out to Canmore again two days later. He got into the car determined that this would be the day he would meet his mystery woman. He had decided that the best strategy was to just say something to her, anything, no matter how clumsy. Then the ball would be in her court. She could respond in a friendly fashion or just brush him off. This plan of action filled him with optimism. Zac was ready! As he drove into Canmore, his only worry was that this may be the day she decides not to go to The Coffee Shop. However, he was not to be disappointed. The first person he noticed upon entering the shop was the woman. She was standing at the counter talking to the server. As Zac approached, she turned, smiled, and then said to the server, "I better get out of the way so you can serve your customers." She went over and sat at one of the tables by the windows.
“Just a regular coffee, please," Zac said to the server while exchanging his money for a mug. He took the mug and poured himself a coffee, then walked over and sat at the table beside the woman. As he was sitting down he greeted her with a 'Hi'. She looked up with a pleasant enough expression, but hesitated a second as though checking to make sure she was the person being greeted. Zac filled the pause with another 'Hi'. She responded with a cheerful enough "Good morning,” but immediately returned her eyes to her notebook.
"You a writer?" Zac asked.
She looked up with a half grin and said, "What makes you ask?"
"Actually I'm just guessing." he replied. "I've seen you in here a few times and you are always writing in that notebook. I figure maybe that's what writers do. Sit in a coffee shop and write in their notebooks."
"Well, I am afraid that is not me. I don't think I can be called a writer. Maybe a wanna be," she laughed.
"Well, it's good you're giving it a shot. So don't let me disturb you."
Zac finished his coffee with obvious haste. Actually, he gulped it down and left the shop.
The drive home found him experiencing a kaleidoscope of emotions. At first he was mad with himself, then embarrassed, then amused. Finally, he settled on being more analytical of his behaviour. “I certainly didn’t come across as a smoothie,” he admitted to himself, “but I did talk to her which is an important first step. Even better, she didn't brush me off. Of course, my sudden departure definitely fell short of being cool, but then again,” he rationalized, “I didn't want her thinking I was trying to pick her up. After all she’s probably married.”
In the end, after weighing all the pros and cons, Zac decided even the briefest of greetings was a good start. So he wasn't about to get down on himself. Instead, he just looked forward to seeing her again, hoping it would be the next time he drove out to Canmore.
Zac did see her the next time he visited The Coffee Shop. She was sitting at the same table by the windows. As always, she was totally absorbed in her notebook. She seemed oblivious to the goings on around her. Zac paid for his coffee and went to the table beside her.
"Hello again," he said with a half grin.
She looked up and recognizing him said, "Hello again to you too."
"I see you are still preoccupied with your notebook. Does it go everywhere you go?"
She laughed. "Oh, it is not that big a deal. I just enjoy sitting here for an hour or so in the morning trying to do a little writing. It is a comfortable setting. Jeannie is a good friend of mine."
"Jeannie?"
"That is the name of the woman who serves us. In fact, she also owns the place. So I feel okay coming down here each morning and taking up space. Poor Jeannie. She sure isn't making any money off me, but she insists she doesn't mind me sitting here writing."
"So you are a writer?" Zac said.
"Oh, that would be stretching it. I enjoy words and trying to do something with them, but no one would consider me a writer. Maybe one day," she said in a modest voice while turning her eyes back to the notebook.
"I'm Zac."
"Sorry?"
"Zac, I'm Zac, Zac Monroe," he repeated rather frantically hoping to keep her engaged in conversation.
"Zac," she repeated pausing for a second as though trying to decide if she was going to say anything else. Zac just looked at her with a slight grin on his face. She broke the silence in a second or two.
"I have noticed you in here recently, Zac. Have you just moved into Canmore?" she asked.
"Actually, I have been coming to this coffee shop fairly regularly for a few years, but I used to always come in the afternoon," he explained thrilled by her comment that she had noticed him in the past.
"That's funny, I have never seen you about town." she replied.
"Oh sorry, I don't live in Canmore. I just come out from Calgary for coffee once or twice a week."
"Really!" she said with a tone of amazement.
"What do you mean, really?" he challenged her with a big grin.
"Well, that's pretty far out Zac, driving all this way for a cup of coffee. Either Jeannie's coffee is like no other on earth, or you are obsessed with the mountains, or maybe a little nuts," she said impishly waiting to get a reaction.
"Oh, I guess being a little nuts fits best," he joked. "Actually, it is just a way for me to relax. I like driving and there is no place on earth quite as beautiful as here with the Bow River running through the town and the Rockies surrounding us. And, oh yes, your buddy's coffee is good," he laughed. "I take it you live here?"
"Yes, believe it or not, I was born here. I have not lived here all my life, but certainly the vast majority of it."
Zac noticed the woman put her pen down on her notebook. He took this as a sign that he had her attention and she was prepared to chat a bit. He was quite relaxed once he saw that she was being responsive. Actually, Zac usually did not have trouble engaging people. No doubt, he was starting out a little cautious here, but that was only because it was not the usual way he met people. However, his confidence was quickly returning to him.
"I must say, you are the only person I have met who was born here. Mind you, I don't know too many people in Canmore. What do you do here; just write in your notebook?"
The woman smiled, "Well, if you mean work, I don't do much. I guess it is my time to relax and enjoy the easy life."
"Hey, I can relate to that."
“Why? Are you retired?" she asked.
"Yes, I stopped work four years ago."
"Freedom fifty-five eh?"
"Not quite. It was freedom sixty for me."
"Well I had to undershoot a bit to ensure I didn't insult you," she chuckled.
Taking the cue Zac said, "So how come a woman as young as you is not working?"
"Very charming," she grinned." I also stopped working a few years ago. I used to own the Stopover Inn just down the road before Deadman's Flat. We had a fire. Actually, it will be four years ago next month. It destroyed the entire Inn."
"That is awful."
"Yes, it was tough, but we had good insurance and savings. I just had no energy left to start that kind of business over from scratch."
The woman looked down at her notebook and picked up her pen. It was obvious this was not a subject she would spend much time on. It was almost as though she was following a set routine for meeting new people. Let them know what she used to work at, tell them of the fire, then move on.
Zac had no trouble picking up the cues. "Well, my ending to work certainly wasn't that dramatic."
"What did you do?" she asked with her eyes still directed at her notebook.
"I was a stockbroker for nearly thirty years. I simply got sick of it. Actually, I probably got sick of it ten years earlier, but couldn't afford to quit so hung in for another decade."
"Now life is good?" she asked.
"Yes, life is good. I probably enjoy the summers more than the winters, but yes life is good. How about for you?" he asked.
"Life is good," she answered while checking her watch.
She closed her notebook and began to put on her jacket which had been hanging on the back of her chair.
"I'm sorry Zac. I don't mean to be rushing off, but I do have an appointment that I must keep."
She sounded genuine. Zac did not feel she was trying to push him off. In fact, he was feeling confident about their brief meeting so decided to take a risk and suggest they meet again at The Coffee Shop.
"Well, before you run off, how about if we set a time to meet here for a coffee?"
"I can do that," she replied with an inviting voice. "When are you back out here?"
Zac was ready to say tomorrow, but he didn't want to sound too keen or desperate so he replied, "How about ten on Thursday?"
"Okay, I will see you Thursday morning at ten," she said as she got up from the table and started to walk away.
Zac almost panicked, "Hey, your name? You never told me your name."
"Ava, Ava Husson, she said as she turned to leave the shop.
Zac watched her from the window as she started down the street. She was quite a tall woman, slim and very erect. She walked liked a woman who had taken ballet all her life.
As he watched her disappear down the street, Zac quickly realized that the next forty eight hours would drag as he awaited his first date in nearly forty years.
Zac was embarrassed by the intense excitement he was experiencing while waiting to see Ava again. He couldn't remember the last time he took this sort of interest in a woman. He had learned a long time ago to suppress such feelings. Over the years, he had met many attractive women including several clients, but he had never allowed himself to have anything more than a fleeting thought about any of them. He was a loyal married man with a proven capacity to perceive, but never personalize. It was safer that way. However, this time it was different and he knew it. It was a challenge for him to keep it all in perspective. He was not at all sure Ava would have any interest in him, but any doubts he had about the future were quelled by his enthusiasm for the moment.
Zac was more than eager when he set out for Canmore the next Thursday morning. However, as he entered The Coffee Shop he felt his enthusiasm quickly switch to worry. She was not there, and he was a few minutes late, so he instantly concluded she was not going to come. He got his coffee and a newspaper and then went to the table they had sat at a couple of days ago. He tried to reassure himself by thinking she may have been delayed through no fault of her own. The wait seemed like an eternity, but it didn't matter once he saw her coming through the door only about ten minutes late. She came right to the table and greeted Zac obviously unaware that she was a bit late.
"Hi Zac," she smiled.
"Hello Ava," he replied as he stood up and offered to get her coffee.
"That's good. I'll get it," Ava responded as she turned and went up to the counter.
Zac sat back down. He watched her as she stood at the counter ordering her coffee. He liked the idea that she was so straight. He also noticed that she had splendid legs. It was obvious that Ava made sure her jeans were cut to show their perfect shape. Her hair was long and full. It was more white than grey. She had it tied back in a pony tail that hung well below her shoulders.
Ava turned to return to the table. Zac quickly glanced down, but knew that she had caught him staring at her.
"I'll tell you, it feels like suppertime. I have been on the run since six playing den mother."
"How does that work?" Zac asked.
"Oh one of my daughters is visiting for the week. She and her husband wanted to get out to the hill real early so I told them not to worry that I would look after their girl until the sitter came over. Well three year olds can give you a workout."
"So you are a grandmother," Zac declared with a smile.
"Yup, I am that old" she laughed.
The conversation was easy. Zac enjoyed listening to Ava. He also enjoyed watching her speak. She was very animated. Used her hands, waved her arms and laughed easily. Her frequent smile was punctuated with perfect white teeth and tiny wrinkles on her cheeks. She wore little makeup apart from lipstick. She didn't need it. Her skin had good colour. Her hands were long and thin. There were a few age spots, but her long fingers and manicured nails camouflaged them. She had wrinkles around her blue eyes and dark circles beneath them, but they glittered in a way that let you know she was a vibrant woman. Zac couldn't tell how old she was although he figured she was probably younger than him.
"How old are you, anyway?" he blurted out.
"Well, you have no difficulty being direct," she answered.
Zac instantly regretted asking such a dumb question.
"Ya, sorry about that. I just was wondering and blurted it out. It's something I tend to do." Zac was nervous so started to run on a bit. "You know, say something without thinking then regret having opened my mouth. Yet, I continue to do it. I just never......"
Ava interrupted him. "It's okay Zac. I am not offended or anything," she said with a smile. "It's just a bit weird for someone, out of the blue, to ask you your age."
"Right, just forget that question," directed Zac.
“It’s no big deal," she shrugged. “I’m fifty-nine. As a matter of fact, I am going to reach the big 6-0 next month. How about that?"
"Yes, a genuine milestone isn't it," he replied a little sheepishly though he liked how easy she was about revealing her age.
"Well, it certainly is a number that gets your attention. My kids sure think it’s a big deal. They are taking me to Banff for the weekend. We will spend our time at the spa where we will be totally pampered for a couple of days. I love it."
"Ah, so the daughter visiting you now is not your only child?"
"No, I have two kids. Two delightful daughters who I must say tend to pamper their mother when I let them. And I think reaching sixty is good cause for allowing some pampering to take place," Ava said with obvious delight.
"Oh, I agree with that," Zac responded.
"It is amazing. Sometimes I think, how did I get to this point? I am not one to worry all that much about age, but sixty does seem kind of old. So much under the bridge. I dare say, more under it than will be going over it," laughed Ava. "Things sure change when work ends and your kids are out on their own. I don't feel bad about that, but I certainly feel different."
"It is different, but a good difference,” Zac offered. “No more pressure. We don't have to produce every day and worry about children in terms of providing everything for them. There is a freedom there. No more worrying about the future, eh?"
"Hey, at my age I sure don't want to think about the future," Ava said with a laugh. "It could get pretty depressing."
“Ya, when I think of the future I have this vision of sitting somewhere drooling and farting in public in between visits to the doctor." Zac quipped.
"Wow Zac, you are definitely an optimist!" she said pointing her finger at him and twirling it in the air.
"You use your hands a lot," he joked.
"That I do," she laughed. "But seriously, how about you? Do you worry about getting old?" she asked
"I don't know. In some ways probably yes, but in other ways no. On balance, I probably don't think all that much about it."
“But you must think about it sometimes,” Ava persisted. “Like about what could have been, or maybe a few regrets, you know that sort of stuff.”
"Honestly, I am not one to dwell on the past, but I guess there are some things from way back when that get my attention. I suppose you could call them regrets. I’ll grant they seem a bit more prominent now than at a younger age. Maybe it is because I think it is too late to do anything about them now."
"Like what?" Ava prodded.
"Well for sure, I wish I had finished college. I went to the U of A for my freshman year. I actually did quite well, but I hated it so dropped out and never went back to school. It ended up not really hurting me in terms of work, but for some reason I was never comfortable with that decision. I just kept putting off doing anything about it."
"Well, it's not too late. You could go back now. A lot of seniors are going back to school just out of interest," Ava said.
"Ya, that's probably true, but it won't be the case with me. I just don't have the drive anymore or even the interest. I can live with a few regrets. Life is not perfect for anyone and I don't believe there is any point in striving to make it so. Regrets? We all have them. Old age shouldn't be about trying to eliminate or make up for them.
"That is true."
"So what are some of your regrets?" Zac asked knowing that he wasn't going to get an answer. He had already decided that Ava was not a woman who would open up to a person very quickly. She was warm, charming and very engaging in conversation, but still able to protect her privacy from the curious. He thought there may be a good deal of pain behind that charming smile. However, he was not the type of person to push people to reveal their inner souls. Besides, he could sense they were enjoying each other and would meet again. In fact, he was quite confident that there would be plenty of time for him to get to know her.
Zac didn't want to get caught up telling her about every regret he harboured so when she brushed off his regrets question he shifted to a much lighter subject.
"You didn't bring your notebook with you today?" he noted.
"Well no, I knew I was meeting you so I wasn't going to be writing anything," she replied.
"So what is this writing all about?" Zac asked.
"Really, it is not that big a deal. I have always enjoyed creative writing even if it was just keeping an elaborate diary."
"Ah, one of your life's regrets!" Zac interrupted.
"Not really" she laughed. "I have always been able to spend time doing some kind of writing. However, now I have even more time so I am trying to be disciplined enough to write a little bit each day. See no real big story here." she said expecting it to be the end of the discussion.
"So have you ever published anything?" Zac asked.
"Actually, yes. I have," she laughed.
"Really, I am sitting with an author."
"Unfortunately, the story line is not very exciting. About thirty years ago I wrote a short children's story and got it published in a parenting magazine. Then, over the years I wrote promotional material for a few travel magazines. That's it," she said throwing her arms above her head in mock celebration.
"I'm impressed. Hey, the only publication I have is a letter to the editor of The Calgary Herald. Although, in all humility I must confess it was a great letter." he said sarcastically.
"What was it about, Zac?" she asked.
"I think it was about twenty years ago. When they put in the GST. I wrote complaining about more taxes."
Ava laughed. "Wow a political activist!"
"No, just pissed off and wrote the letter as good therapy. But seriously, what are you writing about now?"
"I am trying to write poetry. I like poetry. I have always liked poetry even though sometimes I don't understand it. I had never written a poem in my life when I saw this ad on the community bulletin board about a year ago looking for 'wannabe poets’ interested in meeting to form a group. So I joined. It's good. We meet a couple of times a month to help each other out and share our writings," explained Ava.
"But, of course, you are not going to let me hear one of the poems," Zac said.
"Ah, but I can't, you see? Remember, I don't have my notebook with me."
"Good escape," Zac conceded.
Zac and Ava spent about an hour together. The conversation was easy and punctuated with plenty of humour. They mostly spoke of their past work experiences and some of their present interests. Zac decided quickly that he was going to initiate another meeting. However, to his delight when it came time to leave it was Ava who asked to get together again. It was the start of many coffee hours. The met at The Coffee Shop at least once a week for a couple of months. Then Ava went away for a month in late spring, but before leaving she had made arrangements to meet Zac when she got back to Canmore.
It was near the end of June when they got together again at The Coffee Shop. That day Zac arrived a bit late. He quickly got his coffee and sat down beside her. “You’re back! How was the trip?’ he asked.
“It was great. Not eventful, but still perfect, if you know what I mean.”
"Tell me," Zac asked, "When I am late do you ever wonder if I might not come here again?"
Ava was not bothered by Zac’s directness, but his habit of suddenly changing the topic of conversation irritated her at times. Nevertheless, she usually shifted to his trend of thought, consoled by the fact that eventually he always did return to the original subject.
"Sure, don't you?" she snapped back.
"Yes I do," Zac replied. "I know you always show up, but I still anticipate your arrival and anytime you are late it starts me wondering if this is the end of our meeting for coffee. Seems strange,"
"Why strange? I guess we both enjoy the company so don’t want to stop meeting. Nothing strange about that," she explained.
"You’re right," Zac said ready to change the topic again. He smiled at her noting this was the first time he had seen her in summer garb. She looked good. Her face had a slight tan which blended nicely with the canary yellow T-shirt she had on. It was tight; maybe a bit tighter than you would expect on a woman her age. However, Ava could get away with it as she had ample breasts and not an ounce of fat on her body. He also liked the light orangey lipstick she was wearing, and as always was a bit mesmerized by her beaming blue eyes. Their brightness complemented by the dark circles underneath left him unsure how to describe them. “Maybe they reflected sadness? Maybe a zest for life? Maybe nothing very much?” he thought before deciding it would take the language of a poet to do them justice.
It took Zac a moment to realize he was staring at Ava. Then, snapping out of his trance he blurted out, "Sorry, you look beautiful" instantly realizing he was pushing the boundaries with her. A pause followed, but Ava did not allow it to go on very long.
“It has been a long time since someone has told me I was beautiful.”
It was rare for Zac to find himself at a loss for words, but it took him a few seconds to come up with something to say. “Well, your hubby must be blind," was his honest comment.
Ava looked at him with a subdued smile, but remained silent. This was not new to Zac. Often when the conversation turned more personal than Ava wanted she would smile but say nothing. It was a response Zac had come to take as his cue to change the subject. He returned the conversation to Ava’s vacation. Indeed, they spent the rest of their time together that day primarily talking about her holiday.
Ava dominated Zac’s thoughts during his drive home that morning. It felt as though she was still with him. He couldn’t make sense of her comment about it being a long time since she had been told she was beautiful. “What the hell was wrong with her husband?” he wondered. Ava had never told Zac she was married, but he had noticed her wedding ring the first time they met at The Coffee Shop. It was hard to miss. The gold base held an absolutely enormous diamond. “Why would she openly display her wedding ring, but never mention her husband?” he wondered. Mind you, he was also very aware of the fact that he had never told Ava he was married. It sure seemed strange that they had now been meeting for several months without either mentioning that they were married. Was it just good instincts at play Zac wondered? Maybe they just knew that talk of their mates could make things awkward, or create feelings of guilt or worse still, highlight the limits of their potential together. Neglecting to disclose their marital status was not the only thing Zac found unusual about their short relationship. He also thought it strange that they had never been anywhere together except in The Coffee Shop. They always arrived at different times and, when it was time to leave one would always hold back and let the other depart so they never ended up outside together. They also did not know where each other lived or one another’s phone numbers. It seemed to Zac that they had set out some pretty stringent rules without even realizing it. “No talk of spouses, no being together outside The Coffee Shop, no exchange of phone numbers. Quite a list of rules,” he thought. It didn’t make much sense to him. He wanted to get Ava’s take on their avoidance behaviour, but was unsure about how to raise the topic.
A couple of days later Zac arrived at The Coffee Shop to find Ava up at the counter getting her coffee. He gave her a gentle tap on the back of her ribs as he stepped up to the counter.
"Hi Zac," she said without jumping or showing any surprise.
"Hey, you don't scare easily, a real toughie, eh?" Zac joked as they walked to an empty table. The first thing he noticed when they sat down was that Ava had removed her wedding ring. "Now what the hell is this all about," he thought. He was curious, but also uneasy.
"You have never asked me if I am married" he said to her in his blunt fashion, but this time without a smile.
He was sure the comment took Ava by surprise, but she didn't hesitate to respond.
"Well, I just presumed you were married" she said.
"Why would you presume that?" he asked in a doubting tone.
"I don't know Zac, I just presumed it," she answered seeming a little impatient.
Zac didn't respond. They sat silent for a moment.
"I assumed you were married, but just never checked it out. I guess I feel that is something for you to raise when and if you want to."Ava explained.
"You don't have your wedding ring on today," Zac blurted out.
“No I don't," she replied.
“ After a long awkward pause, Ava finally asked," So, are you married?"
"Sort of," Zac grunted.
"Now there is a straight answer,” she chuckled.
"I have been with my wife over thirty years. We still live together, but things have been very different for the last ten or eleven years."
Sensing Zac's discomfort, Ava said, "I’m not sure how we got on this subject Zac, but feel free to shift gears.”
"No. I want to talk about it. You should know."
"Okay. I am interested. I just don’t want it to feel like I am putting pressure on you.”
"Where should I start?" he asked.
Ava remained silent, so he continued, "Well, I got married in my early thirties thinking it was a match made in heaven. She was twenty six. She was, is, a great woman. Brains, looks, humour, ambition. In many ways she has it all. She is a top notch architect who is a partner in one of Calgary's top firms. She began in a small firm right after graduation then moved to her present firm a couple of years later. She moved up fast becoming a full partner in about five years. We had the kids, two girls, just a few years after she moved to the firm, but it didn't impede her progress. I'll tell you, a real super mom. Although, in defence of myself, we did share all the parenting and household stuff. Plus the kids had a nanny. All was great right up until the girls were in college."
"Both the girls went to college?" Ava asked not wanting to interrupt, but needing to show she was listening.
"Yes, in fact they both ended up being architects. The oldest works with her mother."
"And the youngest?"
"She works with the provincial government in Edmonton. Her name is Anna. She had a very tragic experience when she was in her second year of university.”
Zac paused.
"Are you sure you want to hear this stuff?" he asked.
"Of course Zac, but only if you wish to tell me," she replied not wanting to appear pushy.
Zac continued, “Well, it was just before Christmas when Anna was out at a party. It was at a flat that was being rented by three or four students. There were about twenty kids there. Most of them were nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, but there were also two seventeen year olds. Anna was eighteen. They were young kids in university. At a party. Naturally, there was booze. A lot of it. As far as I know no drugs were being used by anyone there. Anyway, Anna was always a good kid with a head on her shoulders, although I am sure she drank at parties. I mean that's normal."
"Of course," Ava nodded.
"Anyway, this night there was a lot of drinking. One of the kids there was a twenty year old guy who Anna had a crush on. She didn't know him all that well, but they had been together in the campus pub a few times. So as the night moved on he started putting the make on her. I guess Anna didn't discourage him. They were in the main room with about twenty other kids. So it didn't seem all that far out when the guy suggested they move into one of the bedrooms adjacent to the main room. You know what I mean?"
"Sure, it's not a big deal, they were just moving to have a bit of privacy," Ava said to reassure him.
"Exactly, except it was the biggest mistake Anna ever made in her young life!”
“Oh! Don’t tell me she ended up pregnant, Zac?” Ava asked in a sympathetic voice.
"I wish. Unfortunately, it was a hell of a lot worse than getting pregnant.
"My god, what did happen?" Ava asked.
Zac looked blankly at Ava. He didn't say anything. He just stared at her.
"What happened, Zac?" she asked again.
"She was gang raped."
"What!"
"Gang raped. Three guys had a go at her."
"Jesus, I can't believe what I am hearing," Ava said almost shouting. She felt frightened.
"I know, it's a real stopper, isn't it? But don't worry. There is nothing to say," Zac replied to put her at ease.
"But I do feel for you Zac. I just don't know what to say."
"I know," he answered patting her arm.
"Did they throw the bastards in jail?" she asked more out of anger than curiosity.
Yes, but not for very long. The two friends turned out to be only seventeen. They were tried in juvenile court and were sent to a young offender's centre for two years. I will tell you, it took me awhile to get over that sentence. Two years in a community type place. They should have been put away for life. The guy she was with got off even easier. They gave him two years. He was twenty one so was required to serve the sentence in an adult jail, but the judge made it two years less a day so he didn't have to go to a federal prison. Christ, he was out on parole in ten months.”
"You must be really mad," Ava said forcefully.
“Not anymore,” Zac answered. "It is more a sadness at this stage. Of course, I wish it had never happened, but that can't change. I guess with time I have learned to live with the memory and try not to let it destroy the rest of my life. What else can I do?" he asked with a shrug.
"Nothing, I guess," Ava replied.
“For several years I struggled with horrible nightmares, feelings of rage and the ever present ‘if only’ thoughts. Then there was a period when I seemed to feel nothing. No joy, no sadness, no anger, no fear, no hate. It seemed as though my negative feelings had been so intense for so long that I simply burned out. I think I became an emotional blank. However, in time, with the support of good friends and some helpful counselling, I came to realize that I had to move on or lose my sanity. It took awhile, but eventually I accepted the fact that I could not change the past. Yes, I still experience sadness from time to time, but the hate, anger and bitterness really has left me. At least now, I am able to enjoy my retirement and sleep without nightmares. Damn nightmares. They still torment my wife.”
"What about Anna, how has she managed?"Ava asked trying to sound hopeful.
"Ah, Anna. A true tower of strength. She is doing fine. To this day I admire her for her strength. It seemed from the get go that she decided this was not going to ruin her entire life. I am not saying it was easy by any means, but she overcame it. She did a lot better job of handling her pain than either of her parents," Zac said with a half grin.
"It took her a year. She got out of the hospital in a week. She wisely went right into counselling and stuck with it. It helped that she got a great counsellor whom she really liked and found so helpful. Once she recovered physically she started working out with a very strict regime. She was always one to stay in shape, but she really went at it this time."
"It was probably good therapy for her," Ava suggested.
"I think so," Zac nodded. "She was sure ready for the trial when it came around. Her testimony was delivered in an aloof straightforward fashion that made everyone in the courtroom squirm. Listening to her was unbearable, but it also made me realize that she wasn’t about to let those bastards ruin her life. And they didn't. She obviously decided to reassess some of her friendships which was no doubt difficult. She never again had anything to do with anyone who was at that party. Unfortunately, she also missed a year of school. However, she went back to university the next year and completed her studies."
"She sounds like a very strong woman. Hopefully, she is also happy?" Ava added.
"You know Ava, I really think she is happy. She got married a few years ago to a really neat guy and last year they had a cute healthy boy. And of course, she has a budding career ahead of her with the government or elsewhere if she decides to move on. I really don't think that girl is damaged goods. I am sure she has her moments, but I am also sure that she is a well adjusted and basically happy person. I only wish I could say the same thing for her mother," Zac said.
"It must have been extremely hard for your wife?" noted Ava.
"Hard? It ruined her life. Our life together," he answered almost sounding harsh.
"Well it had to have been horrible for her," Ava offered sympathetically.
“It was awful for all of us, but she just never got over it. Myra, that's her name, had a great sense of comedy. She was funny, very funny, outgoing and laughed really rambunctiously. That night those traits disappeared forever. She took a three month leave of absence from work, but got no help. She refused any kind of therapy. She believed her only obligation was to help Anna. It was like she was into some kind of super denial that allowed her to believe she was fine and should simply devote all her energy to Anna. I don't know. It has been weird to witness such a dramatic change in a personality. Mind you, she did a stellar job helping Anna, but was unable to see that the whole mess had also destroyed her."
"I guess something like that happening to your daughter can put you into a permanent state of shock," Ava suggested.
"I don't know what to label it, but it sure has been permanent," Zac replied.
"Yet eventually she was able to go back to work, and obviously has done very well," Ava said.
"That is true," Zac paused, "But in a very different way. The charm and passion has gone, but not the creativity, discipline and business sense. She has built a wall that blocks all emotion, even anger. Hell, we haven’t had a fight for ten years," he laughed.
Zac remained quiet for a moment.
"You okay, Zac?"
"I'm fine. I just hope I didn’t run on too much,” he said.
"Not at all," Ava replied. " I just wish I could be helpful," she added.
"Your reaction is fine Ava. Please understand, this all happened ten years ago. I have come to terms with it as best as one can expect. I wasn't telling you about it to get some form of help. I just want you to have a better idea of who I am. That's all."
"Yes and that is good," was all Ava could think to say.
Zac got up from the table and got them both a refill of coffee. When he came back he smiled and said, "Hey, enough of the heavy stuff. Let's talk about your poetry."
"Well, that is a non-starter," she laughed. "I haven't written a thing for weeks. You see, that is the down side of spending all my time here talking with you."
"You mean listening to me," Zac corrected her very conscious that he had been talking a lot more than usual.
"Don't be silly Zac," she scolded him. Nevertheless, Zac made sure their conversation remained light-hearted until Ava finally said she had to get home. Before departing he forewarned her that the next time they met it would be her turn to tell him about her marriage. She just smiled.
Zac had no explanation for why he ended up telling Anna’s story when his original intention was to learn something about Ava’s husband. Although, he did not regret telling her. He wondered if his disclosure would make it easier for Ava to speak a bit about her relationship. He decided he would be a little pushier the next time they were together if she resisted talking about herself. But, as it turned out, the next time they met neither of them mentioned anything about their marriages. It seemed as though they both felt the need to stay away from the heavy stuff. However, when they met the next week the conversation once again turned to their relationships. In fact, Zac did not have to be very pushy as Ava seemed ready to share some of her more personal life with him. The conversation began when Zac sat down with his coffee and again noticed that Ava was without her wedding ring.
"Ava, does your husband know of our regular meetings for coffee?" he asked.
"Zac, you still take me by surprise with those out of the blue questions," she replied.
"Sorry, I do have the habit of just blurting out these things, don't I? I don't mean to upset you. Stuff just comes into my head," he explained.
Ava smiled. "It doesn't upset me. I just never anticipate your questions. Were you a newspaper reporter sometime in your life?" she asked.
"No."
"I know. I was just kidding you,” she laughed.
"While avoiding my question," Zac added in a bit of a challenging tone.
"No, I am not avoiding the question, Zac. I am no longer married."
"Oh, I had presumed you were" he replied unable to hide his surprise.
"I was married up until four years ago." In fact, we had been married for nearly thirty six years before my hus...........”
"That is a long time,” interrupted Zac. “It must have been tough when you split up," he added thinking that perhaps she wasn't over it since she was still wearing her wedding ring until last week.
"Actually Zac, my husband died while we were married," she said in a soft voice.
"Oh shit, Ava. I am really sorry," Zac said in embarrassment. The idea of her being a widow had never crossed his mind.
"Ava, I certainly didn't mean to be prying into such a sensitive matter,” he said, then started explaining very quickly, “ I just presumed with the kids and all you were married, or maybe going through a separation once I saw you without your wedding ring."
"I understand, Zac," she said rubbing the back of his hand. "It is not something that I speak about all that much."
"I can appreciate that. It has to be very hard," Zac replied.
"It can be hard when you think about it. Even after four years. But that really isn’t the reason for me not talking much about it. I think it is more that I have done my mourning and know that I have to get on with my life. Oh! That sounds so cold. I don't mean it that way at all," she said.
"I think I understand," Zac said.
"You see, I think going through such an ordeal with a lot of support and love eventually allows you to more or less cope with what you are unable to change. You get this strong sense that you must move on. I think, I hope, that is healthy. I can never forget, but I also can’t allow his death to immobilize me for the rest of my life. Do you understand what I am trying to say, Zac," she asked almost pleading for his understanding.
Zac did understand and he told her so.
The momentary silence that followed was a bit awkward. Zac figured that Ava was trying to decide how much she was going to tell him so he remained silent. He was anxious to know how her husband died, but realized it was best to let her determine, without pressure, what was to be shared with him.
Ava put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. She looked at Zac feeling somewhat embarrassed.
"Bill, that is my husband’s name, had a monthly ritual that had gone on for years," she began. “The third Thursday of every month, after supper he would go back to the Inn. He and five or six of his buddies would spend the evening drinking beer and playing cards. They played in a little room with no windows that was not used for anything other than their card games. These get-togethers went on for years. They were good friends. Indeed, my husband had been in high school with them. They use to claim that they had to stick together because they were the only locals left in Canmore. It was an innocent enough tradition that seemed to bring them great joy. Until the night of the fire."
"Don't tell me he was killed in the fire," Zac said anticipating what was coming.
"Yes."
"Ava, that is awful,"
"Yes, it was, is awful," she replied. "The fire was atrocious. It completely destroyed the Inn. It was what is referred to as a flashover fire. The heat in that kind of fire is beyond belief. And it was simply a short circuit in the wiring that got it started. We always had the place inspected for compliance with fire regulations, and any renovations were always to code. It just happened. There was an investigation after it and the fire chief concluded it was a freak malfunction that could not have been prevented. A horrible electrical fire. It sounds so straightforward, but actually it was nearly two years before I got the full explanation."
"He was unable to escape?" Zac wondered aloud.
“No. He died in the fire. He was the only one. The room they played cards in was in the middle of the building. It was probably a small storage room at some point. However, no one ever viewed it as a death trap, but it was situated right behind the room where the fire broke out. I can still see that floor plan as clear as day. Anyway, there appeared to be mere seconds for the guys to get out. They smelled smoke, heard a commotion so opened the door to the room and were met by flames just metres from them. They managed to run in the opposite direction down a short hallway that led them to the kitchen and out the back."
"And Bill?" Zac asked.
“It was when they got to the kitchen that they realized Bill wasn't with them. Two of his friends turned to head back, but were almost immediately met by flames. They had no choice. They had to get out. The fire department was there in a flash. They tried to get into the back room, but there wasn't a chance. My love was burned to the point of being a collection of cinders."
“Shit! I can't imagine...." Zac blurted out.
"Yes, there really are no words to describe it. And, of course because he was burned to virtually nothing I will never find out exactly what happened that night. We do know Bill was the last one heading for the door of their card room. But, whether he actually got out of the room and partially down the hall is not known because, of course, at that point all the guys were running for their lives. No one was taking the time to be looking back. In the end, the investigation offered two explanations. Either Bill was overcome by the smoke and passed out or he tripped and hit something that knocked him out. I don't know,” she shrugged.
"I guess you will never know, eh?" Zac offered.
“You know Zac that bothered me for a long time. How exactly did it happen? I would constantly play out all kinds of scenarios in my mind. Especially while the investigation was going on. But at some level, because of the condition of Bill’s body, I sensed there would be no answers. Of course my leery hunch was confirmed when the investigators’ final report offered no definitive explanation for his death. It was hard."
"Well of course," Zac agreed.
"Yes," continued Ava, “It haunts you. It has been only the past year or so that I have been able to make my peace. I came to realize that what hurt was him being dead. The details of how it happened weren't going to change anything so I had to just accept the unknowns and try some way to pick up the pieces."
"Easy to plan, but hard to do," Zac said in an empathic voice.
"It sure is. But, even if I do say so myself I have done a pretty good job of it," she answered with a smile.
"I'll agree with that," Zac said.
"I have done my grieving. It was so difficult, but necessary because it does eventually bring closure. It probably took me a little longer because Bill and I were so close and his death so sudden. So unexpected. But, with wonderful support and love, I finally came to grips with the finality of it all. And in some way I know this is what Bill would want for me. It is eerily humorous now, but a few times we spoke half seriously about what the other would do when one of us died. We had different ideas about what we would do if we were the one left, but on one thing we did agree. The one left should feel all the sorrow and loneliness bound to follow, but they should not stop living. I remember one night Bill became rather serious about telling me I would have to feel okay about moving on even to the point of having a good time. So that is what you try to do."
"It makes so much sense until you are the one that has to do it," Zac said.
"That's right," Ava agreed. "It sure is a struggle, but I think I am getting there," she added.
The sat quietly for a few moments each with their own thoughts. It was Zac who broke the silence
"So now we know each other's stories."
“At least the sadder parts," Ava corrected.
"That's true. We have focused on the sad events. I wonder if that means anything. A couple of depressives, maybe?" Zac said only half jokingly.
"Speak for yourself, Zac," Ava replied with a smile. "I think it is good that we have told part of our stories," she said in a serious tone.
"True, I am just not sure why we picked the tragic," Zac responded.
"To me it makes sense. Talking about the harder times better explains who you are and helps to clarify why you are the way you are. I don't think sharing the good times tells you as much about the person. It doesn't mean you are not happy. Indeed, seeing a person who has overcome their hardships shows their inner strength."
"I agree," nodded Zac.
"Of course, appreciating the good times is also important. You can't dwell on the tough parts of your life. And certainly, I am not about to do that either," Ava said in a determined tone.
Her last comment served as a signal to move on to a lighter topic.
They both had shared some of the most personal parts of their lives, but seemed to have a mutual need to avoid wallowing in any kind of self-pity. So Zac and Ava spent their last half hour together that day talking mostly about Ava's passion for skiing. She told him the ski hills were the principal reason for her staying in Canmore after losing her husband and the Inn. Zac was also an enthusiastic skier so they agreed it was something they would have to do together in the near future. Before leaving for home, Zac confirmed with Ava that she was planning to meet again on the coming Thursday.
Zac was already in The Coffee Shop reading the newspaper when Ava announced her arrival by putting her coffee mug down on his table and quipping, "All caught up on the news of the world, Zac?"
She knew he had not taken much interest in political affairs since he had stopped work. In fact, for Zac, reading the newspaper now meant reading the sports page.
"I’m on top of it!" Zac replied looking up to see Ava standing in front of him dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a pink jersey shirt that showed her shape to perfection.
“No wonder this is the only place you go to in Canmore. We have the free sports page," she joked.
“You got that right,” Zac agreed as Ava sat down and said, “You know after you left this place the other morning, I stayed on for a bit."
"Oh, writing a little poetry, were you?" he chided.
"No," replied Ava. "Actually, I was thinking about us."
"I hope it was good stuff," Zac said with a smile.
"Well, I think it was. I enjoy our time together. It is easy. We get along.”
“Yes, we do,” Zac responded. “I am really glad we got to meet. I find it easy to talk to you. You are understanding as well as beautiful.”
"That is nice to hear,” she said. “But Zac, don’t you find it kind of different that we have been meeting for so long, yet never outside of this coffee shop. I do find that a bit strange.”
"I'll grant you that. It certainly is unique," Zac replied.
Maybe it just feels safe for us." she shrugged.
"Safe?"
"I don't know if that is the right word. I just think maybe it has been the right place for us as we got to know each other."
"Maybe?" Zac said, unsure of where Ava was going, but willing to let her take the lead.
She continued, "I really don't have any explanation, but I do think it is different. Not bad. Just different. I have not gone with anyone since Bill's death. It just hasn't felt right. Yet, I miss a lot of the things that are taken for granted when you are in a relationship. Such as being that special person for someone. Not always being alone at home. Having someone to go out with any time. Intimacy. These sorts of things are so easily taken for granted when you have them in your life, but not having them leaves quite a vacuum. I have not lost my womanhood. I want to be attractive and I want........."
"You're doing a good job of that," interrupted Zac.
“You are sweet, but Zac, how do you feel about all this? I mean you are married, although you told me it is not a very happy relationship."
"That is right. I am married and it is not a happy relationship," he repeated.
"That has been the case for a long time?" Ava asked.
"Yes, things have been very difficult for a long time. Ten years. We had what I figure was a pretty solid relationship up until Anna's tragedy. Then everything changed.”
Zac paused for a moment. “Ava, to be blunt, we do not have a marriage. We have had a friendship of sorts for the past ten years, but not a marriage."
"You mean it is not an intimate relationship?"
"If you mean do we have sex, the answer is no. The last time we had sex was ten years ago. Sometime before Anna's incident. I don't remember exactly when since obviously I wasn’t expecting it to be our last time,” Zac said without trying to hide his bitterness.
"So we are both living a life of abstinence" added Ava trying to lighten the tone.
"So we are. But, you have a better excuse than I," he answered
“Zac, have you ever pushed Myra to work on getting back to normal?"
"Of course we talked about it at the start. She claimed she could not get rid of the images of a rape anytime she thought about sex, or even touching. I wanted her to go for some kind of counselling, but she never did take that advice. She just shut down. It has been years since we have talked about the rape or the impact it had on our relationship. It just got all blocked out. Hell, I guess I have blocked it out as well."“Do you still talk about other things?" Ava asked.
"Oh yes," Zac responded. "In fact, in many ways we have a very normal time together. We go out. We see friends. We talk about the days' events. We have even taken a few vacations together over the years. We just don't do sex. I know, it sounds really weird, but that is the way it is. I guess at this stage, we have both suppressed the whole deal and survive by not talking about our relationship."
"Hearing about it makes me feel sad. I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for your wife. It is all just so sad."
"Well, no sex is no fun. I can tell you that much. Although, if I am honest I probably miss the romance more than the sex,” Zac said with a smirk.
"You seem rather resigned to the whole situation. Or is that just a front for how you really feel?" she asked.
"I don’t think it is a front," Zac replied. "I guess," he continued, "there comes a point when you know things are just not going to change. And I reached that point a long, long time ago. I realize that no matter what I say or do, Myra is not going to change. She will carry the pain in this way to her grave. So, I guess knowing that, I have tried to adjust the best way I can to my circumstances."
"Have you ever thought of leaving her?" Ava asked.
"No I have not," Zac answered abruptly.
After a pause he explained, "I am not sure why I feel this way, but I have always felt it would be wrong to leave her. I have never seen another woman over the years. I don't really understand it. I guess in some way I blame myself for her misery. You see, I couldn't help her overcome the awful experience she had as a mother, so I take some responsibility for her pain. Or maybe, I just think we are both Anna's parents so the right thing is for us to suffer together. I know, it makes little sense, but that is just the way it has turned out."
"I don't understand it, but who says everything is meant to be understood. People have their own ways for handling their pain," Ava said.
Zac sat silent. He looked at Ava. She looked back with just the trace of a gentle smile on her face. Ava’s face was perfect.
"You know looking at you is a good way of confirming that I can still experience passion. I have desires,” Zac said with a half grin on his face.
“Ever the blunt one, eh Zac. You are embarrassing me," Ava replied with a nervous laugh.
"Blunt one! Embarrassing you?” laughed Zac. "Jesus, we are old timers. We can be open about our desires."
“I guess so," Ava shrugged.
Then Zac jerked forward and said, "You are right; since the day we met each other we have never come to, or left, this coffee shop together. That is strange. Hell, I have no idea where you live in Canmore. I don't know your address, your phone number.......,"
“And,” Ava interjected, “I do not know where you live or your phone number."
"Okay, so it is time for us to make a big breakthrough here," Zac said as he stood up from the table and grabbed Ava by the hand.
"What are we going to do?" Ava asked, rising from the table holding on to Zac’s hand.
"We are going to leave together," he laughed.
"Oh how exciting, " she said in a high pitched voice trying to imitate an excited teenager.
Arm in arm they went through the doorway out onto the sidewalk in front of The Coffee Shop. Zac looked at Ava. He paused for a few seconds then kissed her. A gentle kiss that they held for a moment, but not long enough to draw attention from any passers-by. They parted without saying anything. Zac was near his car when he turned and shouted, “I’ll see you Tuesday.” Ava waved to him.
It was now more than six months since Zac first met Ava at The Coffee Shop. Initially, there were times when he thought his attraction to her merely reflected a need for female companionship. No longer. He knew his feelings had evolved far beyond the point of seeking a casual friendship. Zac found Ava to be a bright and beautiful woman whose good humour and gentle manner made her self confidence all the more appealing to him. He liked looking at her. He liked the sound of her voice. He loved the way she waved her hands when speaking in an excited tone. Indeed, he was hard pressed to think of something he disliked about her. Zac had no doubts that it was time to move their relationship to a new level. So he planned to take Ava for lunch at one of the bistros in Canmore.
The next Tuesday morning Zac arrived in Canmore a little after ten thirty. Before heading to The Coffee Shop, he stopped off at the L’Ordeal Bistro to make an early lunch reservation. Zac was anxious to tell Ava about his lunch plan, but when he arrived at The Coffee Shop she was not there. There were quite a few people sitting around the tables. Jeannie was busy serving, so Zac just grabbed a newspaper and went to the only vacant table. It was not unusual for Ava to be a bit late, although Zac did become a little concerned when he was still waiting for her thirty minutes later. There were only a couple of customers left in the shop when Jeannie came over to his table.
“Hi Zac. You don’t have a coffee. Let me get it for you.”
“That’s okay, Jeannie. You were busy when I came in so I just grabbed the paper. I’ll wait until Ava gets here,” he replied.
“Zac, can I sit down for a moment?” Jeannie asked pointing to the chair beside him.
“Of course, of course, sit down,” Zac answered. “Is something the matter?”
“Well.......”
“With Ava?” interrupted Zac. “Is something the matter with her?”
“Well, Zac,” Jeannie nervously started, “Ava wanted me to tell you that she isn’t coming this morning.”
“Isn’t coming? What is the matter?”
“Actually, she is not intending to meet you again.”
“Jesus!” Zac was stunned. “I don’t get it. Why does she have you telling me this?”
There was a long awkward pause.
“She thought it best that I speak to you. She just couldn’t handle it herself. Zac, Ava is very fond of you, but she.......”
“Christ! I’m glad she let you know that,” Zac interrupted with a raised, angry voice.
“I know it is the shits,” Jeannie continued in a sympathetic tone, “But Zac, Ava simply cannot handle being the ‘other woman’. She agonized over her decision, but could not find a comfort zone imagining the both of you together.”
“So she sends her friend out to explain the situation,” Zac challenged.
“Zac. What can I say? She is not going to see you again.”
Zac wanted to get out of The Coffee Shop. “Look Jeannie, I am really not pissed off at you. It is not your fault, but I do not want to discuss this with you anymore.”
“I understand Zac. I am so sorry,” she responded while getting up from the table. He waited until Jeannie was back behind the counter before leaving the shop.
He never visited Canmore again.
Copyright © 2012 by Larry McConnell. All Rights Reserved
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